Anagrammed NCAA Brackets West Region

Boise State vs La Salle
boise state:  a obese tits
la salle explorers: parallels sex roles
boise state is just being mean. la salle is being experimental, but fair. la salle advances. FAIR PLAY.
(1) Gonzaga vs (16) Southern University
gonzaga bulldogs: Gnus Zoo, GG Ballad
southern unviersity: Enshrine Ivory Tutus; Universe History Nut
While University History Nut might be the best and most comprehensive phrase of the West, it also talks about enshrining ivory and the exploitation and endangering of elephants is not cool on my list. Meanwhile, Gonzaga has a zoo for Gnus and sings ballads about them! GG indeed. Gonzaga moves on ahead for loving and singing about gnus.

(8) Pittsburgh vs (9) Wichita State
pittsburgh panthers: Bagpipers Nth Truths
wichita state: Satiate Witch; Wait It, Chaste; Teach Waits It; I White, Act At
Let’s look at Wichita. Wait? Chaste? Teach Wait? If you satiate you’re a witch? C’mon Wichita, liven up here. Abstinence doesn’t work! Then, to top it off, you’re white so you better act it?? Das racist.
Meanwhile, Pittsburgh panthers is taking Bagpipers to the Nth level, and that’s the truth. BAGPIPERS YOU GUYS. It anagrams to bagpipers. Clear winner here. Bagpipers, who I believe are not so chaste nor racist. 

(5) Wisconsin vs (12) Mississippi
wisconsin madison: admission wins on; simian dons wino
ole miss: Smile So; Me I loss
What’s in a name?
Wisconsin knows its gonna win and win on, with an admission to the 2nd round. And for kicks, it then talks about monkeys wearing drunk people.
And look to Ole Miss. Hey Ole Miss, I’m sorry, but it’s in your name: Me, I loss. That’s right Ole Miss, you do lose.  But at least you can keep your smile… so…..

(4) Kansas State vs (13) La Salle
kansas state: Satan Steaks
la salle explorers: please relax rolls
When I first read Satan Steaks, i couldn’t decide if that was positive or negative. As a vegetarian, I have interpretted it as a win, saying all steaks are work of the devil. Meanwihle La Salle is having to tell me to relax and cut back on my bread intake. I’m sorry La Salle, no one comes between a lady and her carbs. Satan Steaks it is.

(6) Arizona vs (11) Belmont
arizona wildcats: A Wainscot Lizard; Cola Wizard Stain
belmont bruins: Bomb Lent Ruins;
Belmont sounds religious and aggressive. Bombing Lent? That’s weird. Meanwhile, Arizona is a COLA WIZARD STAIN. I don’t know what all that means, but it’s my new band name. Cola Wizard Stain’s first single is going to be A Wainscot Lizard. WAINSCOT. I might change my name to Cola Wizard Stain.

(3) New mexico vs (14) Harvard
new mexico: Mexico New
harvard crimson: Sir Arch Van Dorm; Rad Ram Corn Shiv
Wow, thanks you guys. Thank you both for bringing nothing to the table. New Mexico gives me Mexico New? I give it to Harvard, reluctantly, because it at least attempted to create some sort of mediaval character of Sir Arch Van Dorm. I assume he stormed castles. With his Rad Ram and his Corn Shiv. Ok actually, shiving someone with corn is pretty impressive.

(7) Notre Dame vs (10) Iowa State
notre dame: Mead Tenor, Armed Note
iowa state: Await Toes; Sweat Iota
Iowa state keeps talking about sweat and toes and i can’t get on board with that. No matter how long I wait, I will never be waiting for your toes. However, Notre Dame has drunk singers with Mead Tenor. and they come armed with harmonious notes. That’s beautiful Notre Dame, just beautiful.

(2) Ohio State vs (15) Iona
ohio state: Hat Otiose; Oo Ate Shit
ionagaels: Analogies; Lean As I Go
Ohio State taught me a new word: Otiose, which means “serving no purpose; useless.” and that’s exactly how i feel about your anagrams. a useless hat? eating shit? C’mon Ohio, i thought you were better than this.
Then there’s Iona, out from the back, which anagarms perfectly to ANALOGIES. A single wonderful word? Then it has swagger as it’s leaning all about as it’s going? You do have swagger, you have analogies.

NCAA Tournament: Midwest Bracket Anagrams

MIDWEST FIRST AND SECOND ROUND (the NCAA is forcing us to call the play-in games the “First Round,” which is #lame). In this round, I am restricting myself to anagramming the university name.

Play-in game: North Carolina A&T vs. Liberty

Anal Train Cohort
By Liter

I’m giving this one to NC A&T, because this anagram quickly summarizes this set of lines from Kanye’s “Hell of a Life,” which is a song about marrying a porn star:

She said her price go down if she ever do a black guy
Or do anal, or do a gang bang
It’s kinda crazy it’s all considered the same thang
Well I guess a lot of n-s do gang bang
And if we run trains, then we all in the same gang

Plus no one likes the metric system.

Play-in game: Middle Tenn. State vs. St. Mary’s

Dad Entitlements
Martin Says

This one is tough, because it comes down to two great comedians. Martin (Lawrence) Says: “daaaaamn, Gina.” But Dad Entitlements reminds me of Chris Rock’s routine about all the dad requires and deserves is the big piece of chicken. Interior Tennessee advances!

(1) Louisville vs. (16) North Carolina A&T

Ill Evil Sou
Anal Train Cohort

A sou is a coin formerly used by France, so the anagram enforces the thought that money is the root of all evil. Not as lol as a gangbang, obviously.

(8) Colorado State vs. (9) Missouri

Date Score Tool
I Is Sum Or

Data Score Tool – that’s Microsoft Excel. Have you seen my statistical-based NBA eliminator spreadsheet? I’m using it to pick one team per weekend in sportsbook’s eliminator pool, and I’ve four weeks away from a share of $20,000. I’ve attached it. All Missouri could muster up were two Excel formula names (OR, SUM).

(5) Oklahoma State vs. (12) Oregon

Hot Koala Meats
No Goer

Apparently koala meat is a real thing. I didn’t know that. But in 2012, Australia banned koala meat, so that’s a no go now. (I’m guessing Katie didn’t have one in her time there.) Speaking of no go, No Goer reminds me of Hall & Oates’ “I Can’t Go For That”: ooooh, no can do. So Oregon clearly advances. Also, Matt Creel and I bonded over how we loved the 49ers’ “Oregon! Oregon!” audible that incorporated Lamichael James.

(4) Saint Louis vs. (13) New Mexico State

Sustain Oil
Wet Mexican Toes

I suppose wetbacks would have wet toes. Das racist. Renewable energy is kinda bullshit, and I have friends in the oil business, so I’m down for sustaining oil. Texico wins!

(6) Memphis vs. (11) Middle Tenn. State

Mesh Imp
Tenet Dismantled

I’m not down with mythology, so the imp is out. Creel’s tenet does a whole bunch of work for SXSW, so I imagine he has to dismantle whatever schedule he’s had recently.

(3) Michigan State vs. (14) Valparaiso

Acting Atheism
A Savior Pal

Jesus is a friend for some, but not really for us. If I set the over/under for number of times “God” is mentioned at our weddings, I’d set it at 0.5, and I’d bet the under (we’re 25% of the way there). Michigan State advances because God Wills It.

(7) Creighton vs. (10) Cincinnati

Rice Thong
Can Tic I Inn

So, there are actually thongs that have the Rice University logo on them. You can buy them from for $12.50. I’ll spare you the hyperlink. Cincinnati only has two anagrams ftl.

(2) Duke vs. (15) Albany

(no anagrams)
By Anal

In typical Duke fashion, they have zero anagrams made out of their names. Assholes. And since I started my write up with an “anal” anagram, I’m going to end with it. #fullcircle

NCAA East Bracket Anagram Edition

Play-in game: 16) LIU Brooklyn vs. 16) James Madison

LIU Brooklyn = Burly Look-In


James Madison Dukes = Mass Media Does Junk


1) Indiana vs. 16) James Madison

Candy Stripes = Destiny Craps

Description: Description:

James Madison Dukes = Mass Media Does Junk


8) NC State vs. 9) Temple

Wolfpack = Wack Flop


Temple Owls = Mellow Pest

Description: Description:

5) UNLV vs. 12) Cal

UNLV Rebels = Bull Nerves


California = Africa Lion

Description: Description:

4) Syracuse vs. 13) Montana

Syracuse Orange = Garner Soy Sauce

Description: Description:

Montana Ballers = A Tall Man’s Boner


6) Butler vs. 11) Bucknell

Cinderella Team = Laminated Creel

Description: Description: The Butler Bulldogs Can't Still Be Considered Cinderellas, Can They?

Bucknell = Bull Neck

Description: Description:

3) Marquette vs. 14) Davidson

Marquette = Queer Matt

Description: Description:

Stephen Curry = Herpes Nut Cry


7) Illinois vs. 10) Colorado

Indian Chief = Hindi Fiance


Colorado = Cola Odor


2) Miami vs. 15) Pacific

“Da U” Canes = USA Dance


Pacific Tigers = Sci-Fi Price Tag

Happy Friday

Happy Friday

DeAndre Jordan and Brandon Knight - Illustrated

DeAndre Jordan and Brandon Knight - Illustrated

Tecmo NBA Basketball … DRM free and still  better than most games out there today.
Photo credit: thepezguyfromla

Tecmo NBA Basketball … DRM free and still  better than most games out there today.

Photo credit: thepezguyfromla

Count that 3, Big win for the C’s. Great game though especially the last 2 minutes of regulation.

Count that 3, Big win for the C’s. Great game though especially the last 2 minutes of regulation.

Vince Carter Wins an Academy Award

And the Slam Dunk contest. Talking about faking an injury for the win … or eventual loss as Golden State held off the Mavericks 100-97.

Let’s be all like artist with Michael Jordan and stuff

Let’s be all like artist with Michael Jordan and stuff

Occasional off-topic post

Occasional off-topic post

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